PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think of my poem? Want to improve, criticism welcome!?

Fireworks



Dark and sticky, like my morning blackberries

the water laps hungrily,

at my legs.



Salty musk and heavy, like my mother's perfume

the air sinks weighted,

through my bones.



And the night sky hangs low with a dull smokey glow,

the moon grinning toothily.

Slick tar dripping from it's throne.



While the fireworks dance wildly,

their steely twins shimmering brightly in the ocean.

Both snaking towards some strange fate.



And I feel each blast resonate deeply within me,

numbing and deadening like a hammer to winter dirt.

Until I become them.



For a brief moment,

I wish I might snake towards that same strange fate.

To explode in brilliant show of marbled ecstasy and florid, sweet, sweet passion.



Then to fade away.

Lighted smog in the sky,a feeble reminder

of what once was.



Criticism, constructive or not is welcome (but try to be nice! I put a lot of heart into these. Plus i'm young.. that should gain me some brownie points right? haha)PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think of my poem? Want to improve, criticism welcome!?
Blessings. I like your poem it's describe your point of view, it's easy to read and understand, i like your language with words how you compare nature with reality in your poem, i like your simplicity, i see inspirational words and empathy, not bad for a young poet, keep on writing, very lovely. TC.PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think of my poem? Want to improve, criticism welcome!?
Ehh..

I don't like it anyways you should change the two "Like" to some other wordPLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think of my poem? Want to improve, criticism welcome!?
it reminds me of being at the beach and watching fireworks. I %26lt;3 it!