Monday, February 6, 2012

What do you think of this??? This is part of Chapter Three in my story~~?

“The Order! Damn it, we can’t get them involved!” Eve called out, fear filling her features.

“Let’s make a deal, girl….. We’ll leave…. For now, but you have to come with us, because The Order will find us, I know they will.” Nate said then it hit him, “Wait is your sister under protection of The Order?”

“No, she didn't want to make the deal with them.” Nyla said as Eve grabbed the girl by her arm and jerked her towards her.

“Do you know what your going to cause me, The Order already has a death warrant over my head! I can’t get in any more trouble…” Eve whispered in Nyla‘s ear, venom in her voice as she tied to hide the fear the best she could.

Nyla just stood there, thoughts racing through her head, she had to save her sister and The Order would help her.





James had Ni by her right arm, dragging her through the leaves of the dark woods. The branches swayed around in the wind, the eerie sound of the winds made Ni shiver straight down to the bone.

“Your fear smells so sweet, you’ll get me a pretty penny on the Black Market Auctions.” James said, his voice calm and collected as he continued dragging her through the woods, her protest not bugging him any.

“Let me go, let me go!” Ni cried out as she jerked around, trying to get out of his grasp.

“Be quiet.” He commanded, his voice a menacing growl that quickly shut Ni up.

After a couple of minutes Ni finally spoke up, “Where is the auction?”

“Why would you care, girl, you won’t be there for long.” He said with a annoyed expression starting to creep across her face.

After about three hours of walking the stopped at a small lake, filled with black water, that was constantly rippling.

There wasn’t any wind but leaves were blowing around. There were candles all along the shore of the water were surrounded by white candles with black flames.

“W-where are we?” Ni asked,with fear under toning her voice.

“The Goddess of Darkness, show yourself to me, I have a request.” James said as he pushed Ni to her knees holding her there by hr shoulder.

A woman, looking to be in hr mid twenties rose from the water, her long, wavy, brown hair went down to her back. She had a crown on her forehead, made out of silver flowers that entwined through some of her hair. She had slightly dark skin that was flawless. She had swirl tattoos under her eyes that went down to her cheekbone. She had Smokey eyes, like she was blind. She had a wedding dress on. It was an off white color with lace around her breasts. It was sleeveless and went down to the ground, the hem had lace also. The corset was laced up in the front and she had white fingerless lace gloves. She didn’t wear any shoes and had a red cross with a silver frame necklace on. The bottom of the cross went just between her two breast.

"What do you need,James... I deal with the gods, a sacrifice?" The woman asked her voice a soft whisper, just barley a whisper.What do you think of this??? This is part of Chapter Three in my story~~?
WOW!!! that is awesome! I luv it I would luvv to read more!!! Please it's frikin awsome totally worthy of publishing. There are a few mistakes but that happens with all great authors, will you answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhhkTEgVuWtOiJ0wCgazMNnsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100912125400AAdPQtF

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